In my clinical practice, I often work with people who are experiencing a crisis. Crisis comes in many forms -- losing your job, a fight with a spouse, a car accident, or a global pandemic. In all different types of crisis situations, which are typically unforeseen, cause significant distress, and require some sort of immediate decision or action, our emotions can be pushed to the limit. It is in these situations that we are faced with making a split second decision, and sometimes we make choices that make the situation worse instead of better. My father was a firefighter and retired after about 25 years on the job. He saw all kinds of situations during his time as a firefighter, and saw a lot of people in the midst of distress on quite possibly the worst day of their lives. He told me that one of the calls that stood out to him was one in which a woman was cooking on the stove of her apartment when the pan of grease she was using to cook caught fire. At that moment, she had a choice in front of her and she had a split second to decide what to do. Should she cover it with a lid? Use a fire extinguisher? Call 911 and get everyone out? What she did was pick up the pan and threw the burning mess out the window. However, she actually threw it onto her kitchen curtains that caught fire to her kitchen. Luckily, the fire was extinguished quickly and no one was injured. My father told me that story to show me how panic can lead people to make bad decisions and make a terrible situation worse. Unfortunately, many of us do the same thing when faced with a crisis. For example, many people turn to behaviors that produce positive emotions in the short term such as drug and alcohol use, overeating, impulsive spending, or gambling. Unfortunately, relying on these behaviors often create other issues and do not solve the problem presented by the crisis. People often find themselves caught in a cycle of never ending crises because they don’t have the skill to manage their emotions effectively in such situations.
Making a choice in a crisis situation can be difficult, and bring up strong emotions that can impact our judgment and ability to make effective choices at the very time we need it the most. However, it is important to remember that managing a crisis effectively can be an opportunity to usher in needed changes in our lives. In fact, in the Chinese language the written character that means “crisis” also means “opportunity.” Adversity brought on by a crisis gives us an opportunity to rise to the occasion and overcome obstacles to regain our balance again. The work of Marsha Linehan (2014) offers a lot of skills to use to cope effectively in a crisis without making it worse. Distress tolerance skills can be used to actively cope with a crisis and survive it without falling into familiar pitfalls of ineffective behavior choices. Many people have said that if they had taken a few seconds to think about their choice before they made it, they may have made a more effective choice in a crisis. Linehan’s (2014) STOP skill encompasses four different skills to do just that. The first step is to STOP -- physically stop what you are doing. Don’t react impulsively. Stopping what you are doing creates a brief window of opportunity to take a step back from the crisis, and then observe. Taking a step back and then observing allows you the chance to unstick yourself from your emotions and engage the rational, problem solving part of your brain to deal with the issue you are facing. Take a second and take a deep breath or simply slow your breathing down. Observing what you are experiencing in your body, as well as what you are thinking and feeling are important components to making quick decisions. Observing helps you look at these components as pieces of data, not jumping to conclusions or treating emotions as fact. After observing, the task is to proceed mindfully or make a choice of what to do and how to move forward. Coping effectively with a crisis involves using those strong emotions to inform us what to do and survive the crisis. Using the STOP skill as well as other distress tolerance skills can help us not just survive, but actually thrive following a crisis.
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AuthorDr. Kim Guarascio, PhD is a New York State Licensed Psychologist who has been providing treatment for teens, young adults and adults for nearly 20 years in Central New York. The focus of her professional career has been centered on the empowerment of women, particularly those who have experienced trauma and abuse. Archives
November 2023
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