I currently live and practice as a licensed psychologist in central New York, but my home will always be Lincoln, Nebraska. I am a Midwesterner at heart and also an avid fan of the University of Nebraska’s football team and volleyball team (Go Big Red!). Most of my summers growing up in Nebraska were spent playing softball in fields near and far all over the Midwest. To this day, one of the best compliments I’ve ever received was that I was “one hell of a ball player.” I couldn’t play softball for my high school because Title 9 did not exist yet. However, I played softball for Nebraska Wesleyan University and learned a lot about teamwork, getting along with a group of women, and staying positive in the face of setbacks. I was recognized as a two time Academic All American, which basically honors achievement in the classroom as well as the ball field. It was at Nebraska Wesleyan I attended the nationally recognized program in Psychology and graduated with a Bachelor of Arts, with an English minor.
My interest in the mental health of teens and their families led me to pursue my Master’s degree at Kansas State University. It was there I learned how to see an individual within different systems: family, school, community and culture. My major professor was a Psychologist, and he served as a mentor to me. His encouragement and vision made me think that I could get my doctorate and become a Psychologist. I came from a working class family, and was one of the first to get their college degree let alone go on to get a doctorate. Due to his guidance and support, I applied and was accepted into the University of Akron’s doctorate program in Counseling Psychology.
When I moved to Akron, I was several hundred miles from home and knew absolutely no one. I learned to rely on myself, and problem solve when life threw a curveball at me. It was here that I had models for women in psychology. Through intensive training and supervision I became a budding therapist. I learned to develop my own style of therapy, and not try to copy other students or professors. I often tell my clients about my efforts to do “Dr. Zarski therapy,” which inevitably failed. “Kim therapy” was then born, and I brought my own experiences, unique voice, and sense of humor into my therapy. I completed my year-long internship at Ball State University’s Counseling Center where I enjoyed writing for the “Concerned Charlie” online advice column.
My first job after internship was at Oklahoma State University’s Counseling Center. It was there that I faced my fear of public speaking. I created a number of outreach programs on a number of topics such as relationships, assertiveness training, and sexual assault prevention and presented them on campus and the surrounding community. I was a part of creating the first programming for Eating Disorders Awareness week. Along with my colleagues, we created interactive programming to raise awareness of eating disorders and body image issues.The exhibits included a life size Barbie doll created from the doll’s proportions, confidential eating disorder assessments, and donating jeans that no longer fit to a shelter for homeless women. After a year and a half at OSU, I realized that living in Oklahoma was just not for me. This realization came shortly after I came home from work one day to find a tarantula in my front yard (true story)! Through some connections I made at my doctoral program, I learned of an opening for an Associate Psychologist at a small community mental health center in rural Madison County in Central New York. While working with a community mental health population wasn’t my initial plan, I felt that it was possible for me to have more of a work/life balance there. It turns out I was right. I ended up working there for nine years, and developed the first Dialectical Behavioral Program there. During that time I made a lot of friends as well as lasting connections with colleagues. I also eventually met and married my husband, Frank. We recently celebrated our 17th anniversary.
After nine years at an agency, I branched out and began my own private practice. I was very fortunate to have a partner who supported me in doing so. Despite my own doubts about whether or not any potential clients would contact me, I was able to build my own professional niche. I sought out intensive training in DBT, and completed this training in 2014. I have been part of several different DBT Consultation Teams where I continued to learn and grow as a DBT therapist. Other than my husband, the other love of my life has been animals – specifically dogs. When Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I always said “a dog.” It appeared on my list every year until I stopped writing lists. Unfortunately Santa never came through. I promised myself that as soon as I lived on my own in a place where I could have a dog I would finally have my childhood wish. I found my dog, a Maltese/Bichon Frise (little white ball of fluff) and Chloe was our best girl for 15 years. Her loss was deeper and more intense than any other loss I’ve experienced. After some healing, my dog Zara came into our lives, and although she is small she is mighty. Our tiny terror continues to bring me joy (and occasional frustration with my behavioral training skills – sit! stay!)